WARNING: The following is going to be a rant about my recent NEGATIVE experiences with men. This is not to say that all guys suck or anything like that, I have some wonderful guy friends, but I need to get this shit off my chest. Walk away if you’re not ready…
HOOKAY so. To start this out, You’re gonna need a tiny bit of background info. I’m currently on a free dating website. Not gonna tell you which one, because those of you that need to know, know which one it is and you also know that my profile was created as a joke after a couple glasses of wine during the summer. The past couple weeks, I’ve been hit up by more men than in the entire duration of me being on this website. Not sure, but something was in the water, so I’ve been rolling with it.
I was talking to this guy all last weekend and we had made plans to hang out on Friday. So come Monday I sent him a text with a picture from The Black Keys concert (BAD ASS show btw) and I didn’t get a response, so I just shrugged it off and figured he was studying. FALSE. Come Wednesday, still hadn’t heard a peep so me having the typical girl brain, I got real nervous and sent him a text saying to let me know if he still wanted to meet up on Friday..no response. Alright so, blow off numero uno.
In an attempt to try and make myself feel better I spent all of Friday night on this site just hoping that someone would return my message and want to meet up this weekend. To my surprise, someone hit me up out of the blue and we began to chat. Alright win. So we talked for the rest of the night and made plans to hang out Saturday. Super casual, just meet up for drinks. Cool so Saturday comes and I’m sitting at Jenn’s house freaking out because I’ve never been out with a guy in this capacity and I’m stoked. Get all ready, look super adorable and what happens… Well I’ll tell you. He said he’d be free by 4 so when I didnt hear from him I got a little nervous and once again, sent a text around 4:30…Silence. I continued to wait around until 6:15 and still got no response so I then purchased a decent amount of alcohol, went out and drank my sorrows away.
What. The. Hell. Stood up twice in one weekend? That can’t be normal. Now I know some of you are like “Well what are you expecting from a dating website??!” And trust me those words have flown through my head many times the past couple days. But you know what I’m expecting? For people to be decent fucking human beings and let someone know if you’ve had a change of heart or if something came up. It’s not the end of the world to me to break a date. I’m not someone that’s gonna go shoot myself because Joe Shmoe didn’t wanna go on a date with me. But…while we’re on that subject, lets discuss it.
Men always say that they don’t get women; NEWS FLASH it’s not rocket science. I think I’m a decent catch….solid 7. Average person. I get that not everyone is gonna be into the super tall amazon deal; but I’m a nice girl, smart, funny. I drink and party with the best of them but I’m responsible; I go to work, have a car, am finishing school and damn it I have big boobs. If a guy was also a solid 7, (not asking for a model here, I am realistic) at least my same height and relatively nice to me….I’d probably put out. FACT: Girls want sex just as much as guys do. I know..mind blown. The problem is that society has taught us that it’s not cool but guess what? There’s this little thing called HUMAN NATURE and it should be working in the favor of all the horny young men out there. Tap into that shit and you’re golden.
The moral of this really long and anger filled rant is to inform you men out there that us girls really aren’t that complicated. And that the snarky, stuck up bitches that you get the pleasure of dealing with are probably a monster of your own creation. Be a decent person and you can save us all from dealing with that monster and hey who knows, you might even get laid in the process.
So I decided that I’m gonna start blogging about my journey to becoming physically (and mentally) healthy and fit. Some blogs will be written, others will be video. But documenting this adventure is absolutely necessary. Why you ask? Well I shall explain…
As difficult as it is to wake up every day, look in the mirror and hate what you see, that wasn’t enough to motivate me to change. Well not permanently at least. External motivators got me a decent head start, but because it wasn’t engrained deeply enough within me, the change didn’t stick. However, I had plans to get back on track and make my last official semester at CSULB the best ever. And then my knee went out in late March. And although in the injury was not nearly as serious as many of the knee injuries that my friends have sustained, it flipped my world upside down. Suddenly tasks that were simple became very difficult, nearly impossible; doctors kept giving me the run around and it seemed like there were no clear answers in the near future. For 22 years I had essentially taken my body for granted, and it finally caught up with me. And though I tried to put on a good face and continue on like things were okay, I was completely devastated. I became depressed, and could barely pull myself out of bed to go to class some days. Every awesome plan that I had created for my semester was ruined.
Fast forward 5 months and I am up and running back to normal again. This summer has been a rollercoaster of emotions and just trying to figure it all out but the one thing I can say with confidence is this: I NEVER want to end up where I was in March ever again. The worst part is that essentially, the injury was preventable. Had I taken better care of a previous injury, chances are I would have been alright. So thus my inspiration to head down the road of losing weight and becoming active, strong, and healthy. I know that it’s not going to be easy which is the reason I’m blogging my experience. I don’t want attention (hence why I’m doing it on my social media forum which has the least amount of viewership) for doing something that I should have done a long time ago. I’m documenting it because I don’t want to forget the struggle. I don’t want to forget the pain, sweat and tears that surely lie ahead of me because I never want to take my body for granted again. So in a way, this journey is an apology to myself.
I’m only 5 days (of working out) in but I already feel better. Some of the swelling in my knee has gone down that has been there since March which is remarkable to me. I’m less tired walking around, things that would normally be really heavy just aren’t…I could get used to this. Now if only my dad could support me by buying groceries that would be beneficial to this process. Unfortunately, he (nor the rest of my family) really gets it, so its going to be an even harder road than it should have to be…but I’m up for the challenge.
So, I feel like everyone is STRUGGLING right now. Nobody is motivated, everyone’s slacking on their shit and getting their butts kicked by school. Um, I’m sorry…but we’re all paying a ton of money for our education and we’re better than this. We’re scholars and though we are surrounded by our equals every day, we need to remind ourselves that only the good ones make it to college and the best make it out of college alive. So…let’s pick it up. 4 weeks or so left in the semester…we can do it. To everyone out there that’s having a hard time for one reason or another, remember that there’s definitely a light at the end of the tunnel…and its called Winter Break, New Year’s Eve 2012 and a lot of booze ;)